What if?
by bitchinblackframedglasses
Summary: A collection of random one-shots on what would happen if the Cullens appeared in your life! Pure crack. I apologize.
1. Chapter 1

What if…The Cullens came trick-or-treating

**What if…The Cullens came trick-or-treating?**

"Hey Alice, hurry up!" Catherine called from the hot tub. Alice, Catherine, Allison, Stef, Natalie and Emma had all been out trick or treating, and now they were all in Allison's hot tub, talking about Twilight, wubbulation, and boys. Alice sprinted from the house suddenly, across the cold wet leaves, and almost dived into the hot tub.

"Geez Alice!" Stef said as she walked out after her. Emma wrung out her now completely soaked hair as she approached, and casually said, "I dare you to ding-dong-ditch the Ayers."

"Oh, I should! The totally deserve it." She said, glancing at the Ayers house. Everyone looked at each other.

"Do it!" Catherine cheered. "I wanna hear him cussing." Allison raised an eyebrow at her.

Stef grinned impishly, and disappeared. A minute later, she was sprinting back, shivering. (Everyone is in a bikini)

"Nice!" Allison whispered slapping her a high five as they laughed.

"Hey, let's get them again…but with this." Emma held up a plastic bag as she got out.

"What…is that exactly?" Alice said, leaning closer for a better look.

"Umm, let's just say its Jingles leavings." Emma said. Alice leaned away.

(Jingles is Allison's totally shazamin' basset hound.)

"What are you going to do with it?" Catherine asked.

"I'm gonna put it on the doormat of course. When Mike steps outside, he will step right in it." Stef nodded appreciatively.

"Let's go!" Emma whispered, and she and Stef ran away.

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Emma crept with Stef towards the house. Big bushes grew up about halfway across the windows. Like a cat, Stef crept up the stairs to the front door.

Emma followed, and turned the bag silently upside down on the doormat. Stef started giggling.

"Go!" she whispered, trying to keep the laughs in. Emma vaulted over the railing as Stef rang the bell. Stef vaulted over too, and they ran for it.

The door opened…

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"What the fuck? Oh my god!" Mike yelled clearly into the night. Emma and Stef arrived breathless to their laughing friends.

Natalie slid under water to keep from laughing out loud.

Slapping Emma and Stef high-fives as the came in, Alice's back shook with silent laughter.

"Damn it!" Mike yelled.

Catherine buried her face in her hands, giggling.

"If you ring this bell one more time, I will call the police! God!" Mike yelled.

"I think Mike blew a gasket." Allison whispered.

Catherine laughed out loud. Natalie joined her as she resurfaced.

"I'm gonna kill you if I find you!!" Mike screamed, before slamming his door.

After their laughter died down, Natalie grinned.

"Should I get him again?" She asked.

"If you can handle the death threat." Alice replied.

"But it was so funny Alice!" Catherine threw in.

"Yeah, but not the last part. I didn't think that Mike was that insane." Stef said.

"What planet do you live on? Mike belongs in a mental institution." Emma asked.

Allison's doorbell rang.

"Well that would be Mike." Natalie joked.

Everyone looked at each other.

"It's your house Allison." Catherine said.

"But Emma and Stef ding-dong-ditched him!" Allison argued.

"Fine! We should all go." Alice said.

"But it's cold!" Catherine whined.

"Come on!" Emma hissed as she climbed out.

The six of them crept into Allison's house, and to the front door. Catherine reached for the handle.

"Wait! We need clothes dingus!" Natalie hissed. But it was too late.

The Cullens, who had been walking away, turned around.

"Holy mother fu-" Emma started to whisper.

"Ummm…" Alice said.

Allison fainted.

"Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't I don't care, cause I can see…" Emmett started to sing, before Jasper elbowed him.

Jasper was dressed as a Scream, with his mask in hand. Alice was on his arm, dressed as a witch. On the other side of them, Edward was a pimp, and Bella was his hoe. (Provocative, huh?)

And in back, Carlisle and Esme were dressed as clowns. But in front…

Rosalie was on Emmett's arm, dressed as a fairy princess.

Emmett was dressed as a vampire.

**Happy Halloween!**


	2. Chapter 2

**What if...The Cullens were in your study hall?**

**Jasper POV**

I was sitting in the library during study hall, the most boring class of the day, especially when you're in high school for the 20+ time. Alice was sitting to my right and Rosalie was on Alice's right at our table. We were sitting in the way back of the library so no one would notice us when Alice went off into a daze (a vision I assumed). Then she whispered something to Rosalie which I didn't pick up on and they wouldn't stop giggling. Who knows why they were laughing but they wouldn't stop, and when I tried to feel their emotions all I got was hysterics.

"Who ever that is...QUIET!" the librarian shout whispered. I did my best to calm them and eventually I succeeded and they went back to work.

**Rebecca POV**

Blah. Study hall hosts no interest for me what so ever. Nothing ever happens, you just sit there and most of the time you do nothing because you've already finished you homework. Today was no different, me being bored, no noise except for a few giggly girls who shut up pretty quick but that's it. Then I heard a shouting like noise coming from the hallway which seemed to be getting louder by the second. All of a sudden I swore I lost my mind, because just then Emmett Cullen came marching into the library shouting while wearing boxers over his head.

"Idiot," I heard a guy mutter as the group of giggling girls started full out laughing now. I turned my head to the direction the sound was coming from only to see Jasper and Rosalie Hale plus Alice Cullen. I thought these people were fictional. What the crap? Oh well…………. Then I ran over to Emmett and jumped on him.

**Emmett POV**

If I was human I wouldn't be able to see anything with these boxers on my head, but I'm not human and I have super vision to go with my super strength and awesomeness. I was thinking about how cool I was when all of a sudden some girl was hanging on my back.

"OMG! I'm Rebecca. I love you Emmett. You're so hot!" She stated excitedly. I guess I am pretty hot, extremely hot actually……at least someone notices my hotness unlike some certain member of my family.

Oh god….. Just then Rosalie was bounding over to me giving death glares to the girl hugging me…………This was going to get ugly.

"Uh… Jasper!! HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.


	3. Chapter 3

**What if...The Cullens secretly went to your school?**

**Elizabeth POV**

"Bring…Bring…," the bell finally rang and I rushed out of Geometry. I pushed past upper classmen as I headed to my locker in the 100 hall when the loud speaker came on. They presented a hefty list of students who needed to go to the office, the usual, and then I heard my name called, Elizabeth.

"What the hell?" I muttered while I turned around and started 'twards the office. Then a new voice came on, "There is a silver Volvo with a license plate: ECM-117, if this is your car please report to the office at this time. Than you, that's all for now," and then there was a click.

**Edward POV**

"What did you do now Edward?" Emmett joked me sarcastically.

"I left my lights on, tell Mr. Brown I will be a little late, I have to go to the office. Bye." Then I raced to the office in vampire speed, I knew none of the humans could see me so I wasn't worried with human speed. There was a buzzing of thoughts as I made my way to the office. I arrived within seconds and casually slowed to a human walk, good thing no one was around to see me. Human pace bores me… actually almost everything about human life bores me, except for Bella, of course. Just then I reached the door to the main office and opened it.

**Elizabeth POV**

I was sprinting down the hall, not to be super late for my next class, as I came to the office. As fast as I could I opened the office door and raced to the counter. Apparently I entered right after some guy, I didn't pay much attention to him, except for the fact that he was quite sexy.

"Name?" the secretary asked me.

"Elizabeth," I replied.

"Here you go," and she handed me some papers. I turned and started to the door to get to my next class. As I walked I notice the boy had amazing topaz eyes, and as he told the secretary it was his car with its lights on, I could help but notice the musical tone to his voice.

WAIT…… silver Volvo……. Sexy……….. Topaz eyes………. Musical voice….

"EDWARD CULLEN?!"

"Uh……" Then as if he disappeared, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

What if…the Cullens appeared in your backyard

**What if…the Cullens appeared in your backyard?**

"Jenna! I need you to empty the dishwasher while I'm gone!" Her mom called up the stairs.

"Sure Mom." Jenna replied as a reflex, not taking her eyes away from the Twilight poster she had taped to the ceiling. (It's the one with the whole family)

Her Twilight poster stared back, the stares of Emmett, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice stared down at her.

She turned up her iPod as one of her favorite songs came on, She Does, by Locksley. (I know you hate it when authors put in their favorite songs, and you don't know what the hell they are, but just deal with it.)

The bass thudded in her ears as her moms car pulled away. Silence fell over the house.

With a sigh, Jenna got up from her bed, pulling her eyes away from the Cullens perfection, (hotness in the men of the families case) and went down the stairs.

EDWARD POV

I felt ridiculous as we crept through the bush. Emmett was bored, (god help us) and we were going to a RESIDENTIAL neighborhood…to jump on a trampoline. A _trampoline. _Of all the things…

Bella giggled quietly next to me. She loved watching Emmett do these stupid kinds of things, as much as he loved watching her blush, be clumsy, and be human.

Emmett stalked out of the Hasta plants in the back and snuck across the grass to the trampoline. I rolled my eyes. If he didn't want to get caught, he would do this at vampire speed. But noooo.

A noise echoed from the house, so I listened harder. Someone was playing a song I had never heard, something about She Does. What is it with my fellow Americans taste in music! What ever happened to the Debussy fans?! Oh yeah. They all died a century ago. A loud crack pierced the air, and I whirled around. Emmett had managed to snap the trampoline in half.

"You idiot Emmett!" I hissed, stalking closer. Rosalie dragged him out to the middle of the yard, furious.

A thump echoed in my mind from the house, so I tuned in. And I 'heard' a mind in there, so I listened. A song called Don't Make Me Wait floated into my head. (Locksley) My guess was the listener was dancing, judging my the thumps coming from inside. Then a dish crashed to the floor.

"Oh shi-" The thought in my head was interrupted by Rosalie's furious shouting.

JENNA POV

I kicked open the dishwasher, and pulled open the racks. Humming along to the chorus of She Does, I opened up one of the cabinets, and pushed some glasses in. Then my favorite song of all time came on. Don't make Me Wait. I grabbed a mug, and then I was dancing around the kitchen. I dropped off the mug to the freezer, (My dad does this, its weird.) and did the Twist back to the dishwasher. (yeah, her dance moves suck, yada yada…)

I grabbed more plates and shoved them in the cabinet. Right in the middle of the chorus, I twirled, and accidently let go of the plate in my hand, and it flew into the wall, just inches from the window, and shattered. "Oh shi-" I started to cuss, but a furious yell came from the back yard.

"Have you lost your mind?!" The female voice screamed. I cautiously peeked out the window, avoiding the plate fragments. A group of adults were standing in my backyard, and two of them were yelling at each other. I opened the window, ready to yell at them, but the blond was oddly familiar…

"I think so, holy shit!" I whispered, as I recognized Rosalie yelling at Emmett, answering her question.

Slowly, all of the Cullens turned to face me, standing in my backyard.

"I thought you were mythical!" I gasped.

"Ummm…" Emmett started.

I started to hyperventilate.

My eyes scanned the backyard. I noticed the trampoline, and my breathing stopped.

"Um, yeah, hey, sorry about that…" Emmett said. Slowly and stiffly, I pulled out my ear buds.

"There is only one way you can pay me back." I said; hope bubbling up inside of me. I saw Jasper shift nervously, and Edwards face twisted at the thought of my plan.

"You have to stay here the rest of the day!" I said. After all, obsessed beyond repair fan-girls would kill for video, pictures and audio of this historic event.


	5. Chapter 5

What if…The Cullens worked at Medieval Times

**What if…The Cullens worked at Medieval Times?**

"Holy crap Mandi, it's starting!" Lexi screamed, waving her Medieval Times flag in the air. The last few wenchy sales girls selling light up swords, flags, and glowing axes exited the arena. Then, the lights dimmed. Mandi and Lexi, and the other hundreds of people crowding the stands cheered.

"THIS IS SO COOL!" Lexi screamed in Mandi's ear. Mandi winced.

"Hey watch it dingus, I do have ears you kno- Oh. My. God." She said as their knight (Blue) trotted over to them.

Mandi raised a shaking finger and pointed at the knight.

"I swear that is Jasper!" She cried.

"Seriously?!" Lexi screamed, and Jasper's head turned. Both girls ducked reflexively. When they peeked over the edge of the counter, he had out the roses.

"OMG, I have to get one of those!" Mandi said, and started to cheer. Jasper kissed a rose, and threw it.

Time seemed to slow down. Mandi jumped, and caught the rose. All the girls in the blue section glared at her. Mandi swore she saw Jasper smile, but she wasn't sure. Lexi started to hyperventilate.

"He kissed that, oh my god ohmy god ohmygod ohmygod holy shit!" She said faster and faster until she was gasping for air.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the knights will now joust!" The announcer said. Lexi stopped breathing.Mandi wacked her on the back a few times.

"That- is- so…hot!" She finally whispered.

"Call Cassie and Katherine, we have to tell them!" Mandi urged. Lexi dug out her cell.

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Katherine jumped as her phone started to vibrate in her pocket.

"WTF?" she muttered, and pulled it out.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Oh my god Katherine, Jasper is the blue knight!" Lexi's voice came out breathlessly through the phone.

"Yeah right!" said Cassie, who was right next to Katherine.

"No seriously! Check your knight!" Mandi's voice said.

Cassie scanned their knight over.

"I can't see, his back is turned." She said. Then the knight turned, and pulled out a sword.

"IT'S EDWARD!" Both girls cried in sync.

There was a long pause.

"Hey, um Cassie? Katherine?" Mandi asked.

No response.

"HEY, HATE TO CUT SHORT THE OGLING, BUT THE OTHER KNIGHTS MAY BE EMMETT OR WHATEVER…" Mandi said loudly into the phone.

"Oh…yeah…right." Cassie said.

Hey, you guys get the green knight, we will get the red one, kk?" Katherine said.

"Sounds like a plan." Said Lexi.

The girls scrutinized the knights closely.

"I think the green one is James…yep, that's James." Said Mandi.

"How do you know?" asked Katherine.

"I saw his abs." said Mandi. (Have you SEEN pics of his abs??)

"Ok, one down, one to go…hey that's cool!" Lexi said.

"What?" asked Cassie.

"The white knight is Carlisle." She said.

"Well, that suits him." Katherine said.

"But who is the red knight?" wondered Mandi.

"Are you seeing what I am?" Katherine said in a shocked tone to Cassie.

"What is it guys, seriously, what?!" Lexi cried into the phone.

"Oh my god, that is so hot!" Cassie said.

"WHAT??" said Mandi loudly into the phone.

"The red knight is Emmett."


	6. Chapter 6

Austin POV

**Ian POV**

"Well this is just my luck. Isn't it?" I muttered to myself as I kicked my car. "Stupid piece of junk." I can't believe my car broke down on the way to Elijah's house, now I'd never get there in time to catch the game. I was waiting on the side of the road, hoping for a car to pass that could help me.

**Alice POV**

My face went blank as I saw a vision of a boy, about our "age," swearing up a storm as he waited for a car that would stop and be able to fix his car….hmm…..

"What's up Alice?" Bella asked. Bella, Rosalie, and I were stuck at home while the guys were out hunting, and I just thought of a very good way to bide time. This will be amusing.

"Rosalie?" I asked

"Yeah, Alice?" She replied.

"How about we have some fun today." I stated with an evil grim on my face.

"How?" Bella asked, obviously confused.

"Well…there's this guy whose car broke down and he can't get to a mechanic. So how about we all go and have Rosalie fix his car, play with his mind, you know?"

"Interesting," Rosalie stated, deep in thought.

"Let's go!"

**Rosalie POV**

It took us about 5 minutes to reach the street that the guy was located on. He looked extremely bored out of his mind…maybe this would be more fun then I had thought. I slowed my convertible down the closer we got to his car. Then I parked right behind his car and got out.

"Hey. Need a car mechanic? If so, I'm your girl." I said in my flirty voice. Oh, I just love playing with human guys' minds.

**Ian POV**

Oh, man! Score! My friends will never believe this. Three hot chicks and a convertible. Who's the man? That's right, I am.

"Heck yeah," I replied. One of the three had got out and had started to walk over to the front of my car. When I saw here my jaw dropped. Seriously it must have hit the floor. I must look like an extreme idiot, standing here drooling over an inhumanly hot blonde chick, a goddess.

Not even a minute later she said, "You car's fixed. You should be good to go now." Instead of leaving, though, I just stood frozen gaping at who I now recognized as Rosalie Hale. I know she's supposed to be fictional and all but this was her all right and at that moment I thanked God she was real after all.

"Uh, well we have to go now. Bye." Rosalie informed me when I refused to move. And then Rosalie and who I assumed to be Alice and Bella left me there staring after their red BMW convertible as it sped off.

Once they were out of eye sight I hopped in my car, started it up, and whipped out my cell phone.

"Hey, Elijah. You'll never guess who just fixed my car……..ROSALIE HALE!"

"You've lost your mind Ian. Trust me, you're not that good looking."


	7. Chapter 7

What if……Carlisle was your doctor

**What if……Carlisle was your doctor?**

As we pulled in to the hospital, my mom looked at me. I steadily ignored her as I watched the sun rise. I got out of the car, and my mom and dad walked me into the surgery entrance.

"Lindsay, are you feeling ok?" asked my mom. Yeah. Just dandy. I got up at 4 in the morning, haven't eaten anything since yesterday, and oh yeah, I'm getting eye surgery in an hour.

"I'm fine mom." I sighed. We waited what seemed like forever, and then a nurse came and showed me to a small room where I changed into a hospital gown, got a hospital bracelet, and some electrodes taped to my skin.

Then, I got a blanket fresh from the dryer, and got to curl up in a big armchair, with my parents sitting close by, and waited for the doctor to come.

A laugh echoed down the hallway, and my mom fidgeted, my dad turned a page in his magazine, People. Like he was reading that.

Then Carlisle Cullen walked in, wearing scrubs. My mom's jaw must have hit the floor, mine too.

"Hello Lindsay, I am Doctor Cullen, I will be doing your surgery today." He said. I just nodded.

"And you are the parents?" he asked, turning to face my mom and dad.

"Yes sir." Said my dad, and shook his hand. My mom nodded slowly, still absorbed.

"We are ready now, I will see you in a bit." He said, and a nurse came in.

"Bye mom, bye dad." I said, and gave them both hugs, then got on the gurney.

When we got into the OR, I was a little nervous. I was obvious hallucinating or something, after all Carlisle was my doctor, and this surgery was kind of important.

Then Carlisle came in, looking all doctory and hot.

"Just relax, and breath deeply." He told me, and administered the anesthesia.

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I was floating, and I was in a hot pink car, soaring over cherry orchards. The sun was smiling at me, and pink flowers rained from the sky. Then, something bumped the car, and I was falling through blackness…

I cracked an eye open, and saw the ceiling above me. Groggily, I opened both eyes and sat up slowly. One eye was covered in a patch, and I could only see half of my world. I was in a curtained of section of recovery.

"Carlisle, I need to talk to you." A musical voice said, sounding upset.

'Not now Edward, I have a patient I have to see in recovery."

"But this is important!" The musical voice hissed. Carlisle's back came into view, and I could see half of Edward's hair peeking over the top of Carlisle's head. I could not see his face.

"Edward." Carlisle warned.

"He totaled my car Carlisle!" Edward cried.

"Who?" said Carlisle, walking toward me slowly, looking at a chart.

"Emmett!" Edward growled.

"So by a new one Edward, it's just a car." Carlisle said, flipping the chart closed.

Then he pulled back the curtain. I immediately squeezed my good eye shut as the light flooded in. It hurt my eye.

"Oh I am so sorry Lindsay." He said, and shut the curtain back to the crack. I slowly opened my eye.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Probably better than Edward." I rasped. Ouch. I probably should have whispered.

I heard an intake of breath from the other side of the curtain.

"Than who?" Carlisle asked slowly.

"Edward." I whispered.

The curtain moved a bit.

"Crash his Jeep." I whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

**What if…the Cullens had a Facebook?**

"Finally!" I muttered as I slammed my math book shut, and booted up the computer. I drummed my fingers on the desk as I waited. When it finally booted up fully, I opened the internet and went directly to my Facebook.

I hadn't checked it for about a week, and I had to update how many days were left until the twilight movie opened. My Facebook page was covered in twilight, pictures, captions, links to Twilight websites and stories…the list goes on and on. And so did my friends, almost 300, were mostly Twilight fanatics like me.

I slogged through all the comments, and the club notices and friend requests, until I got down to just my page. Then my notifications dinged. I had seven new friend requests. Already.

I clicked on it, ready to hit accept for all of them, until I noticed the names.

'Edward Cullen has sent you a friend request.'

'Emmett Cullen has sent you a friend request.'

'Alice Cullen has sent you a friend request.'

'Rosalie Hale has sent you a friend request.'

'Jasper Hale has sent you a friend request.'

'Carlisle Cullen has sent you a friend request.'

'Esme Cullen has sent you a friend request.'

'Bella Swan has sent you a friend request.'

"Holy James and Victoria…" I said, substituting character names for cuss words.

I hit accept for all of them. They were all online. My hand jabbed the view profile for all of them.

I liked Edward's pictures the best. I was basically salivating over them.

I grabbed the phone and called my best friend, Allison.

"Allison, you will never believe this!" I nearly screamed into the phone.

"What?" Allison asked.

"The Cullens all have Facebooks, and the sent me friend requests!" I cried, dancing around my Twilight filled room.

"Seriously?!?!" Allison screamed.

"Uh, yeah." I said. There was a moment of silence.

"Courtney, I need the computer!" Allison screamed.

My notifications dinged.

I ignored it, and talked to Allison a little longer. When she hung up, I clicked on notifications.

'Edward Cullen has sent you a kidnap! request.'

I clicked on it with a shaking hand.

'Edward Cullen has kidnapped! you to Venice with fuzzy pink handcuffs!'


	9. Chapter 9

**What if you ran into the Cullens snowmobiling?**

"Holy crap! Slow Down!" Trianna screamed as her friend, Nausuda took a turn in the trail. It was early in the morning, and the two girls had snuck out to go for a quick joy ride on a snowmobile they found in the garage.

Nausuda slowed to a halt, and turned around and grinned at her friend.

"What, scared of going over 10 miles and hour?" she teased. Trianna frowned.

"On this trail, yes. There are way to many turns to be going that fast." She said. Nausuda revved the engine.

"Yeah yeah, lets go!" she crowed, and hit the gas. The world blurred as Nausuda navigated around the trail.

After a couple times around, Trianna warmed up to the idea of going faster.

They hit the flattest and longest part of the trail, and Nausuda pushed the snowmobile over 30.

There was a little turn at the end of it, but Trianna was sure her friend could handle it.

They neared the turn.

"Nausuda, slow down." She said. Nausuda reached for the gas.

Then, the turn was right in front of them.

"Slow down!" Trianna screamed. With a roar, the snowmobile went straight up a pile of snow, and aired off of it.

Then, Nausuda and Trianna found themselves on the ground, and their snowmobile rolled to a stop.

Right into a tree.

"OMFG, are you ok??!!" Nausuda said, clawing her way out of a bank, and winced. She was going to have bruises now, that was for sure.

Trianna groaned, and rolled out of a mound of snow. She looked up, and frowned.

"I'm fine, but your head is gushing blood." She said, staggering over.

Nausuda reached up to find a scratch wrapping along most of her forehead. Blood trickled out of it.

"You are such a drama queen, it is not GUSHING blood." Nausuda retaliated, fingering the wound.

She narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"What about you. I fell off first somehow, even though I was driving…so you were on it longer…" she trailed off. Thinking was giving her a headache.

"I swear, I'm fine." Trianna said through clenched teeth.

"No you're not. Let me see." Nausuda said.

Trianna sighed. "Here then." She rubbed her shoulder.

"It hurts like a **son of a batch of cookies**!!" she screamed as her friend poked it.

"OK, we are going to carefully walk back to the farm-" Nausuda said, wading her way out of the snow bank.

"WALK back? Are you kidding me? Were like a mile away!" Trianna said, still knee deep in snow.

An engine noise cut through the air.

"Great! That's probably your dad, ready to kill us!" Trianna complained, slowly getting out of the snow.

"He won't _kill _us." Nausuda said.

"Oh look, he took the other snowmobile. I wonder how he's going to get that one out." She pointed at the crashed snowmobile.

"He's got a tractor somewhere…that's not dad." She broke off, staring at the approaching snowmobile.

'How do you know?" Trianna snapped, pain making her irritable.

"Because my dad doesn't go over 10 miles and hour. They are going fast!" she said.

A couple minutes later, the snowmobile pulled up.

Both men removed their helmets.

"Oh geez!" Nausuda hissed as Edward shook his hair free of the helmet.

"OHHH my mother-" Trianna whispered.

Carlisle emerged from the other helmet.

It was silent as the two groups waited for the other to speak.

So…you're bleeding. I'm a doctor, I should look at that…" Carlisle dug through the pack on the back of the snowmobile.

"I'll get your snowmobile out." Edward said, and easily walked through the snow bank, and over to the crashed snowmobile.

Carlisle turned to Trianna.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"Um, just my arm and shoulder." She murmured. Then she blushed.

"Well, I'll get to you in a second. You girls are going to have some nasty bruises." Carlisle said.

"That's what she-HE said." Nausuda mouthed as Carlisle cleaned off her head, then winced at the burn of the disinfectant.

Trianna's laughter was muffled by the roar of their snowmobile becoming free of the snow. Edward pulled up next to them, and cut the engine.

"All done." Carlisle said, and turned to Trianna.

Trianna shrugged out of her coat, and gritted her teeth as it passed over her left shoulder.

"Well, you dislocated your shoulder!" Carlisle said cheerfully.

"Well isn't that just-HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" Trianna screamed as Carlisle smoothly popped her shoulder back in to place.

"You girls are all fixed up! Try not to hurt yourselves on your way back." Carlisle said. He and Edward got back on their snowmobile and drove away.

"Did we just get treated by a mythical vampire?" Nausuda asked.

Trianna nodded.

"I must have hit my head hard!"

**Aaahh, snowmobiling. Don't do it with friends. This was based off of what happened to me and a friend when we crashed. (Minus the vampires and the serious injuries.) I wrote this one for my friend who crashed us (MikeWearsAbrecrombiePajamas), and the previous hockey one for my other friend. (xxEmmettCullenxx) It was xxEmmettCullenxx's birthday party that got me the ideas for these two What if's? **

**Happy reading!**

Ω**stephmeyerfan14**


	10. Chapter 10

**What if the Cullens played Hockey for the Wisconsin Badgers?**

**(I live in Wisconsin, so if you don't like this team, pretend it's your states/countries team)**

"Allison, this was a really good idea!" Stefanie said as we took our seats in the stadium. We were so high up; we could see the rink from almost a birds eye view.

"Thanks." I said, and scanned the ice and crowd, my eyes finally resting on the big screen. It was currently showing a couple cuddling in the cold air of the stadium.

'Wanna get some food?" Natalie asked. After some talking with my parents, my friends and I were off to the concession stand.

Everyone got a hot dog except Emma, and for good reason. **(Just for you Allison, just for you.)**

We got back to our seats just in time, the lights dimmed just as we sat down. There was no noise, and then a spotlight appeared on the opposing team's side. Almost immediately, people started to boo, and a few "Sieve!"s were thrown out there. After their team was announced, I noticed something. On the back of one of the player's jersey, it said Black. And when he turned around, his skin was a russet color. I noticed the whole team was that way.

With growing apprehension, I scanned the opposing team as they were announced. The guy next to 'Black' was 'Clearwater'. I also found 'Uley' in the team.

"No way!" I screamed, and pointed it out to my friends. We soon found the entire pack. The werewolves were the opposing team! That was sooooo unfair, in more ways than one.

"And here are you WISCONSIN BADGERS!!" The announcer yelled. The fans cheered wildly, and the opposing team growled, literally.

As they skated out, the difference in the skin tones of the team made me double take. Most of the badgers had the palest skin I had ever seen….

One huge player skated out jauntily, with a little twist. He was huge like a bear…and the back of his jersey said 'Cullen.'

"It's Emmett! I love you Emmett!" I screamed. My friends hyperventilated as they found the men they liked most. What surprised me is Leah, Alice, Bella, Rosalie and Esme were able to pass as guys.

Everytime the Badgers scored, we stood up and screamed long after anyone had stopped clapping. Edward's helmet fell of during a particularly aggressive struggle with 'Black,' and we all screamed at the sight of his hair.

When the game was over (5-0 Badgers-or should I say Cullens!) We ran out to meet the teams, leaving my parents far behind.

Catherine dug around in her purse and pulled out a purple sharpie. She dove into Emma's purse and pulled out a book.

"Don't you dare!" Emma screamed. Catherine ignored the bibliophile and ripped out the book ends.

She then ripped them into pieces, and the rest of us searched for writing utensils of our own.

"let's get some autographs!" Alice screamed.


	11. Chapter 11

**What if the Cullens and you were on a roller-coaster?**

_**Thank you Immortal Blueberries for the idea! If any of you have a idea you want to see made into a chapter, PM or review and I'll write it. Even if you have it written and want it posted, I'll post your work.**_

As we pulled into Six Flags, I couldn't help but feel slightly anguished. The one day we are finally able to go, it's cloudy with a chance of rain.

Luckily, my friend Celeste was with me. Her mom gave us instructions, and a map. She walked into the park with us and just sat down.

That's another good thing about her mom. She has vertigo problems, so she won't follow us around. Just looking at the rides makes her sick.

"Come on Ashley, let's go on the Superman!" Celeste dragged me through the park and the weaving empty lines to were a small group of people were waiting.

I flinched as a rain drop hit me. Perfect.

Celeste was busy rigging up a camera to hold as she went through the ride.

"If you drop that, you're screwed." I told her.

"Yeah, so? It will be so worth putting on YouTube." She tightened the strap around her wrist as we stepped up in line closer to the small group waiting.

The small echoed screams of people on the ride made me shiver a little. This was starting to creep me out.

I could just imagine a fan-fiction about it now…

Then a very familiar booming laugh came from the group in front of us.

A girl with long dark brown hair was blushing furiously at something a large brawny man had just said. They were in line for second car.

Celeste looked like she was seeing the sun for the first time.

"Celeste, forget it. They're _fictional."_ I hissed. She just smiled.

Then she shoved me over to were the cars were being loaded. Yippee.

As the seats turned, I saw a pair of golden eyes watching us.

I was about to say something, but the ride started.

"YEAHHH!!!" The brawny one screamed behind us as we started the climb. He already had his hands out like Superman.

I heard a sigh as well.

"Really Emmett. The ride just started." Said a musical voice.

Then we paused, hanging in the balance, defying gravity.

Suddenly, the world was flashing by as we went through many twists and turns.

Celeste was screaming her lungs out, pointing the camera at everything. I had one of those slow-mow moments as I looked back to see the Cullen family looking like movie stars, laughing as the ride accelerated.

Then there was a screech and Celeste and I flew forward and slammed back.

"Ow son of a-" I said, but stopped as I noticed where we where.

The ride had stopped and we were hanging at the highest part of the ride. And we were stuck.

"Oooohhhh shit." Celeste said, panning her camera back and forth.

"Oh nice going. The first ride you pick turns out to be a disast-" My words were cut off as we jerked forward an inch.

My next words caught in my throat as I stared further down the twisting track. Standing alone on the top of a spiral was a small person, with fire red hair billowing around her.

"Ashley what-oh. OH. OH SHIT!!!" Celeste screamed.

I heard frantic movement behind us.

I reached over and pounded on Celeste's harness. It groaned a little, but held.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked, still freaking out.

"Would you rather get ripped to shreds by a vampire or get out of here?" I asked her, and took another smack at the harness.

"Wuss!" she said, and leaned over and smacked mine directly down the middle.

With a groan, it popped off, and I grabbed onto it before I fell of to my death.

The harness swung forward, and I slipped out of the seat, both arms wrapped around the harness, feet dangling into space.

"Smooth move!" I shrieked, gasping as it swung in the wind.

The red haired being started to run forward as the rain began to fall.

Celeste was still filming, but the camera was lose, hanging off of her wrist, turning in the wind.

Then the whole car dipped and swayed as footsteps stopped above us.

"What have we here?" the high soprano questioned into the wind.

My heart leaped into my throat as one of my arms slipped off, rain falling from my fingertips.

Then cold fingers closed around my wrist.

Celeste screamed as she lifted me smoothly up.

She fingered my sandy hair as it fluttered in the wind.

"You are pretty." She said, drawing me close. My feet contacted with the rails.

I gasped as her cold hands grabbed both of my wrists. She spun me around to face the far away loading dock. I could barely see the small group of people watching.

"Come and get it." She said softly.

The figures remained as they were.

I shivered only a little as her cold hands caressed my neck.

She pulled on my necklace to see it better. It was the one my boyfriend had given me before that night.

"You have love and lost." She said, sounding surprised.

Then I noticed the figure running up the tracks toward us.

"Hmmm. I have as well. Maybe we have more in common then I originally thought." She mulled it over.

"Victoria." A slight southern twang floated over to us.

Victoria shoved me backwards as she defended _me_. My arms waved cartwheels in the air as I struggled to regain my balance.

Then my ballet kicked in and my bare toes curled slightly onto the bar. (They take your shoes off on this ride if you're wearing sandals.)

"She is mine. Leave me." Victoria said.

"You have no right." Jasper said.

Suddenly I was in front of Victoria as a shield. Her cold arms gripped my forearms, holding me in place.

"I will never threaten Bella again if you leave me." She said her cold breath on my neck.

Jasper hesitated.

That's all it took for Victoria to jump.

My gasp of shock was lost as the wind rushed past, and the ground got closer and closer.

I barely felt a jolt as Victoria landed and placed me on my feet.

Then her teeth were on my neck, almost biting. I heard growls all around and guessed that we were not quite alone.

"Victoria, don't." I heard a chiming voice warn.

I kept my eyes closed.

"I made you an offer. Take it or leave it." Victoria hissed by my juglar.

My whole body tensed. She actually rubbed my arms, as if to comfort me! Stephanie Meyer got _something _wrong with the description of Victoria.

"Ashley!!!!" I heard Celeste scream as loud as she was capable.

My eyes snapped open, and my head turned to the sound. Victorias teeth almost nicked me, but I totally ignored it.

Then her teeth passed smoothly through my skin, and it barely hurt at all.

My entire body froze in her grip.

**BAM!!! I went to the Six Flags in Illinois, and based the entire story off of that location. This isn't one of my happier endings, but I felt like a drama queen today. I hope you enjoyed it!**

Ω**stephmeyerfan14**


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